fafnyrgoldenwings

Cecil slid into bed. the darkened room was quiet, lit only dimly by the perpetual glow of his bathroom. the sound of sheets was the only thing that kept away the pervasive silence. Cecil sighed, pulling the covers over himself, shutting all his eyes. the bed was colder than usual. ugh. he turned over, wrapping himself up a bit tighter in the blankets to warm himself. Desert nights were surprisingly cold, and that much colder without Carlos. he drifted off into oblivion, with the hope Carlos would appear to him in derse. a subtle scent pulled him out from the gulfs of sleep. what was it? the smell grew stronger. it was almost… floral.

Smiling. it is so simple. a muscular contraction. widening of the mouth, a baring of teeth. grinning. also quite simple. widen your jaw, bare all your teeth, express your joy, pay no mind to the venom behind that smile. shows you are feeling happy, are you not? you are grinning, your muscles and your teeth, they indicate it so. pay no mind to the venom seeping into your eyes and the venom in your veins, it can wait. grin, grin as wide as you can, they can’t smell the venom in your veins. they can’t feel the surge of heat and bitterness  like deerhorn tea injected into your eyes and your voice. you’re having fun. you’re

Flicker. wane. rise, suck the oxygen out of the air and bloom, only to wane again. act exactly like the stress level in my house. ignite, flicker, rise, on the blade’s edge of a twig or candlewick and bloom and burn, expand like so many wings of brightly colored birds evading poachers’ nets. rise, frantic, frenzied, rageful. burn like mad with a will to survive let the booming roar envelop all, deafen all, like the wingbeats of so many trapped birds that flail against their bonds ignite, flicker rise, burn, bloom explode and consume all the oxygen in the air and consume the fuel you have grounded yourself on, like so many petty

The stars are falling black tonight, my love, Along with them, everything we hold dear. So, misty eyed, we'll count the stars above As ever closer they are drawn to here. So, love, do you believe in destiny? In counting time, in counting every day? So, do you, love, believe in what you see? We'll vanish soon, our hearts will drift away. If atoms wander through all space and time, Maybe there is a place where I'll find you, Some universal meeting point sublime. We're trapped inside this hell of midnight blue. But love, I'd search all of this time and space Just for another chance to see your face.

You search for something you cannot possibly comprehend. What is it that you thirst for? What do your frozen hands reach for? You are so cold, so hyper aware. Your skin seems like glass, like every gentle tap threatens to shatter you completely. Life assaults you with everything it has in its arsenal and I fear this world is too loud for you. Your heart never rests easy. What is it that your heart yearns for? What is it that you yearn for more than anything else in this awfully big world? You chase not desire, it sits in your hands and it overflows from you. You chase not freedom, you stand in a wide open field, you are free, but trapped